At- Risk

First, let's consider what it means for someone to be classified as "at-risk". If you or someone you know is under twenty-five years of age and living in a single-parent home, or involved in the foster care or Department of Social Services system- then that automatically defines you as at-risk. Additionally, being homeless, engaging in or considering drug or alcohol experimentation, participating in gang or criminal activity, or lacking an involved father figure in your life, all contribute to being considered as at-risk.

Now the question is, "At risk of what?" Simply not having an active father in ones life, according to the National Fatherhood Institute, makes an individual 87% more likely to end up in prison. If you are in the social services or juvenile justice systems, you are almost guaranteed to come to prison. And of course, being involved with gang or criminal activity doesn't decrease your chances either.

The core of this ministries existence is to speak life into those at-risk of ending up in prison, dead, or addicted to drugs. I don't want that for you. I've been all those things, and none of them are good. I implore you, I beg you, to spend some time with me. Go through this page—the other pages, too—and READ. Invest in yourself! No one is going to do it for you. You have to make a decision to learn and grow and study if you want to change the trajectory of your life and keep from making the mistakes that I did. You can start now…

WATCH THE COMPANY YOU KEEP 

4/10/24

1. I don't know exactly what brought you to this website. But for most, you probably have someone who cares deeply for you and is concerned about the direction you may be going in. So they asked you to take a look at this page. First off, count your blessings, you have someone in your corner. That is more than a lot of people have. 

2. My name is Brandon, as you should know by now. And truth is, I have a lot of experience with making the wrong decisions. The reasons I made those decisions were many. Many of them were out of plain stupidity. Others were out of pain and uncertainty. Today I want to make sure you are plainly aware of the importance of choosing your friends wisely, especially as it relates to the Bible. You may not read it a lot, but it is by far the best selling book EVER. And quiet frankly, it changed me into the person who cares what direction you are headed in today, along with your loved ones, that is. (Again, count your blessings.)

If you have haven't read it somewhere else, a friend of mine and I took the police on a chase back in 2012. We had guns in the car. Resultingly, during the chase we shot rounds out of our window in hopes of the muzzle flashes ending the nighttime pursuit. It was very stupid. We put many lives in danger. And due to my influence, a "friend" of mine caught a sentence of 17-21 years in North Carolina's state penitentiary. I myself got 20-29 years. He and I are going on our twelfth year.

I cared for this guy like a brother. I still do. Like he is my own family. I love him. My mother tries to put money onto his prison tablet and commissary as often as is possible. But caring for him didn't make a difference. I was young and stupid and didn't pay attention to how my negative actions and influence would affect his persons entire future; as well as his family's future. They miss this guy dearly. His name is Cody, and he is now 29 years old.

The Bible and the things it says for us to do, it isn't meant to be some rigid set of rules that restrict you from having any fun. It is the way God tries to keep you safe, your physical body as well as your soul. So it has a thing or two to say about this subject of friends. 

Pointing out the need to be mindful when we choose our friends, the Word says: "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared" (Proverbs 22:24-25, NIV). In the past, I was quick to snap on people. I was the tuff guy. I was the "friend" you called when someone was picking on you or your girlfriend. Or, when there was a friend of yours that was tied up in an abusive relationship and you wanted to help her get out of the house. Mostly, I thought I used my anger for good. But, still, anger is dangerous. And there are warning signs you can look out for, if you WATCH the company you keep. 

3. And look at that last part of the verse, "and get yourself ensnared." This is real life we are talking about here. This isn't a game. You don't get any do-overs. At 18 years old the courts laid my friend down for as long as he had been alive. He got himself ensnared, literally, by following my lead, wanting to be "loyal," to be a "friend," knowing I was jammed up and wanted for beating up a guy who was beating on his girlfriend. 

This is straight talk here. Somebody loves you and is trying to get your attention. Prison isn't fun. It isn't easy either. It takes more than time from you. It takes part of your being. It leaves you with trauma. Real talk, just this morning I woke up and learned that someone got hit in the head with a lock while they were asleep. This isn't where you want to be. In no way shape or form. You don't want it. You may think your tuff and that you are willing to take risks to do what you got to do to make it out there. But you don't want this, I promise you. 

It said don't make friends with such a person. Just to be clear, it says don't even ASSOCIATE with them. Some of you reading this have been associating with some people you have no business associating with. The old saying is true, if you get down with dogs, you are going to get up with fleas. And some fleas you can't get rid of. Some fleas are for life, a gnawing, biting feeling you can't ever get off. An itch you can't ever scratch. A label you can't remove. 

4. You have to understand that the people you keep around you, no matter how strong or good you think you are, will INFECT you. The Word says, "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV). One minute you are doing school projects and singing in the choir. Then a bad "friend" comes along and two months later you are smoking pot, selling dope and hitting licks. 

I wish I would have learned these things before I made the choices in friends that I made. I wish I would have learned the dangers associated with choosing bad friends. Fooled me once, shame on them. Fool me twice, THAT'S on me. Now I'm doing things different. And I suggest you do the same, BEFORE you go to prison!

These days, a friend of Jesus is a friend of mine. And He made it easy for us to distinguish between those who are His friends and those who are not. He said, "You are my friends if you do what I command" (John 15:14, NIV). These days, I'm paying attention. I'm looking. Okay, bet, they don't have anger problems. So I'm good there. But what are they doing? Are they DOING what Jesus says to do in the Word? If they are, then we good. We can be friends. Call it what you want, but this ain't no video game. You only get one shot, as Eminem said. 

You can't afford to miss!

5. So we see that they are doing what Jesus says to do in His Word, but more so than that, they actually know the Word for themselves. Jesus, Big Bro, goes on to say, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:15, NIV). Those who are Jesus' friends know the Bible—in a perfect world—even as Jesus Himself knows it. And they love people (John 15:17). The opposite of love is not hate, it is selfishness. So those are things you can be on the lookout (BOLO) for if you want to be smart about your life. 

Remember: a friend of His is a friend of ours. And when it comes down to it, the way Jesus sees it is: you are either a friend of His, or a friend of the World. The Word says, "You adulterous [disloyal] people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity [hostility] against God? Therefore anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God" (James 4:4, NIV). Who in their right minds would want beef with God Almighty? You better choose your friends wisely. Because the way He sees it is, "Birds of a feather flock together." You are guilty by association. You are just as wrong or right as your friends. The law calls this "acting in concert." And think about it, if your beefing with God, it is only a matter of time before you lose. He is GOING to win every time! 

6. When someone goes to prison all we think about is the crime that was committed and the law that was broken. Many think THAT alone is the reason for our captivity, our being exiled and imprisoned. But Scripture tells it from another angle. It say that, when it comes down to it, the reason that people go to prison is because they have sinned against God. (Please take a moment to look up 2 Chronicles 6:37-39, Jeremiah 22:22, and Romans 13:1-7.) It is, and always has been between you and God. And He is going to win. He is God. Why would a person deliberately choose to lose?

If we want to win at this thing called life, and if we want to please our Creator, this is what the Word says, "Do not be yoked together [friends] with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial [an idol]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: 'I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.' Therefore, 'Come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and THEN I will receive you.' And, 'I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty'" (2 Cor 6:14-18).

Maybe you haven't had a father to ACTIVELY father you in your life.

7. Maybe you are looking for that in a big homie or the gang. God is saying HE will be that for you. And He will be the BEST Father. He has always been there. He has just been waiting for you to make up your mind if you wanted Him to be that for you. He loves you. More than any of your friends ever could! He wants what's best for you.

And what is best for you is found in the Word of God. 

I know life can get hard. I used to be down since day one. I used to aid and assist and all that stuff. I'm telling you, He has something better and bigger for your life. And one thing He told me, after I started my own journey, was that He doesn't need a platform. He doesn't want you to stay down so you can make a difference in the lives of those guys. He don't want you to stay down, He wants you to Step Out. Step out of that mess! Wash your hands and say your prayers and turn to the Highest Ranking One of All: Jesus Christ. God the Father gave the entire world to Him as His personal footstool. Solomon himself tried to build a house for Him out of something earthy and worldly. And this is what He said: "Heaven is My throne, and the earth is My footstool. What kind of house will you build for me, says the Lord...Did not My hand make all these things?" (Acts 7:49-50, ESV).

He doesn't need nor want that platform. He wants you to step out and separate your self from them. Give yourself to Him! Don't step with. Step out! Step out from them while you can.

 8. Look at this, Psalms 1 promises us: "Blessed is the one who does not WALK in step with the wicked or STAND in the way that sinners take or SIT in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates in his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yield fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked! They are like chaff THAT THE WIND BLOWS AWAY. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction" (verses 1-6, caps mine).

By wicked He means the world. People who do not even try to obey God, who do not believe in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Those who have not prayed: "Lord Jesus, forgive me my sins. I repent. From now on, You are my Savior, You are my Lord. Mold me and shape me as YOU will. Amen."

Once you do this, you will begin to yield fruit that others can eat from. Once you get planted in His Word and His purposes for your life, you will feel whole and your life will become purposeful like nothing you have ever imagined.

Men and women of God know who to listen to, as well as who not. And they stand for what they believe. And God knows that exact spot they are standing in, and every step they take. His eye is on them. HE is their friend. 

9. Your Father loves you. He wants to keep you safe. And in reference to your friends this is what He wants me to tell you:

"Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God" (2 Corinthians 7:1, NIV).

Take that leap of faith and step out of that circle you are in. Become your own man. A family man. God's man. Be that Father or Mother He has called you to be. You can do it. 

I'm speaking from personal experience here. I remember the exact date I started choosing my friends deliberately. It took some courage. As a result of my choice to step out, I could have been killed. I'm just being honest with you here. Because I want you to know that I understand. In some cases, stepping out may mean risking your life. But if your brave, you will gain your life in more ways than one. 

Jim Elliot was a missionary to the Acua Indians. A cannibalistic tribe of people who had eaten everyone that came to tell them about God up to that time. While Jim was on the plane he wrote this in his diary. He wrote, "He is no fool who would give what he cannot keep, to gain that which he cannot lose."

Some things and people are worth standing for. And some are not. I'm just asking you to make the best choice. Because your worth it. And because there was a time, not too long ago, that a whole group of people stepped in to help pull ME out of the fire.